Six for Sixty Nine and Six Six Six

Tres Amigos

Taggart: I got it! I got it!
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a Number 6 on 'em.
Hedley Lamarr: "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whompin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number Six Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous! – Blazing Saddles

Once again, I ventured out to Phoenix for another foray in the desert: Javelina Jundred. While this would be my 7th visit here, my plan was to get finish number 6 here. Last year I was fighting a cold and managed to get in 71 miles and the 100K consolation prize of a 100K buckle. I didn’t want to wind up going home with my tail between my legs again.

Photo by Will Lafollette

Something about this race that keeps me coming back. The race is held at McDowell Mountain State Park just outside of Fountain Hills. The race consists of 6 loops of 15.4 miles on a mix of sand, dirt, rocks and dirt road, each consecutive loop in reverse. The first loop is clockwise, then counter-clockwise, then clockwise, etc. until 6 loops are complete. The final 7th loop, or half a loop, goes out clockwise to the first aid station, Coyote Camp, then takes a nice shortcut descent on a nicely groomed trail that takes the runner back down to the bottom, and a nice left turn and a mile later to the finish line. The first time I was here I was taken aback by the desert scenery, so desolate but pretty in a way. Each consecutive visit here makes it much more scenic. I guess it grows on you after awhile. The nice thing about the washing machine loops is that it allows everyone to see each other criss-crossing back and forth as we all progress along the course.

Slacker 666

Richard Cranium 69

I drove out to DIA with Scott Olmer and met Vince Gerber, another 6 for 7 finisher at the gate. We were leaving the 2 feet of snow and cold of Colorado for the warmer climes of Phoenix. This would turn out to be one of the cooler years there. We left Denver and 20 degrees and arrived in Phoenix at 60 degrees. Some of the locals were griping that it was cold. I thought it was great. Highs looked to be cooler than usual, in the mid-80’s both Saturday and Sunday. After eating and having a beer at a local sports bar, we headed out to the park to check in, get out race packets, and (a first) weigh in. I weighed in my heaviest ever for a race, 213 lbs. Everyone complained that the weights were 5 lbs heavy. I would concur with that. I looked in my bag for my bib. I requested the traditional number 69 race number, with my alter ego “Richard Cranium” boldly written on the front of the bib. Makes for interesting conversation out there on the course. Vince’s bib had the number 666 and “Slacker” on his. Vince did get a lot of reaction from other runners during the course of the race. After mingling about for awhile and talking to old friends, we decided to hit the local Safeway, and then check in to the hotel.

Phil Rosenstein

Lyle: [after the farting] How 'bout some more beans, Mr. Taggart?
Taggart: [fans his hat in the air] I'd say you've had enough! -- Blazing Saddles

After watching TV for a bit, it was time to get some dinner at the pizzeria across the street. We’ve eaten here every year and it seems to satisfy. Went back after dinner and got ready for the next day’s run. Scott was in normal form sharing with us his “Butterfly Kisses”. At least Ron Wright wasn’t here to stink up the room in unison.

Sergeant Hulka: You better hit those bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the "big toe" is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass. -- Stripes

After watching a few episodes of “The Family Guy”, it was time to hit the sheets and try to get some sleep. Surprisingly, I got to sleep rather quickly and had a good sound sleep in the process.

John Winger: Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning. -- Stripes

Got up early, ate breakfast, readied my pack, and it was time to go to the park and start some fun in the sun. We got to the race start fairly early. I tried to get some rest, but was too antsy. So I got up and visited the PortaPot, then walked around talking with everyone. Caught up with Nattu and his girlfriend Karen. Soon it was time to get to the starting line, and we were off.

Tripper: And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field; even if every man woman and child held hands together and prayed for us to win, it just wouldn't matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money! It just doesn't matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER! – Meatballs

I tried to settle in for a nice pace, but the many throngs of runners were driving me crazy. Vince and I decided to sprint a bit to get ahead of the traffic jam. Only then were we able to settle in on a nice pace. My goal for the first loop was around 3 hours and change. Vince and I were being our normal chatty selves. We befriended a young lady Anna who was running her first 100. She seemed to take our ribbing and joshing in stride. We would end up playing leap frog with her for about 5 loops.



We got to the first aid station, Coyote Camp, at mile 5.5 in 1:03. Just right. I didn’t need anything on this go around so I went on through. Vince caught up with me soon after as we made our way around the back side of the loop towards the next aid station at Jackass Junction, 5.4 miles distant. This is my favorite part of the course, lots of ups and downs and nice single track trail. Just before coming off the trail and onto the dirt road, Will Lafollette was there taking pictures. Pretty soon we made a right turn that meant the next aid station was only 1.5 miles away. Got here, refilled a bottle, grabbed some food and coke, and made our way out.

Photo by Will Lafollette

Olson Johnson: Never mind that shit! Here comes Mongo! -- Blazing Saddles

Vince and I headed down the dirt road making good time, joking to anyone who would care to listen. Then we headed back on single track trail. Just before the paved road crossing signaling just 2.5 miles to the end of this loop, Robert Andrullis was there taking pics of runners. I yelled out “Mongo!”. Crossed the road and hit more single-track trail. Another favorite section, as it gently meanders and rolls to the end. Before we knew it, we were rolling into the main aid station and crossed the timing mat for the completion of loop 1, in 2:49! Way better than either Vince or I had hoped for. I leaned over to Dave Combs who was running the timing area and yelled out “Fuckin’ Awesome!”

Fezzik: Inigo?
Inigo Montoya: What?
Fezzik: I hope we win. – The Princess Bride

I went over to my drop bag area on the other side of the pavilion. Ditched my jacket, flashlight and hat, got a new hat, sunglasses, refilled my pack and got outta there. Went over to the aid area and refilled my bottles, grabbed a sandwich and a coke, and was ready to go. I spied Vince making out with one of the aid station tarts and we both headed out, this time going counter-clockwise.

Matt "Rustpicker" Sandlin

Photo by Will Lafollette

I think I like this direction more. It’s a gradual uphill to the road, and more uphill beyond Jackass Junction aid, but much more runnable after that. I don’t know, it just seems to be more enjoyable this way. Some like the other direction better. On the way up to Jackass, Vince and I ran with a navy guy from Twenty-nine Palms, Matt Sandlin. In our usual obnoxious banter, we traded insults back and forth, usually consisting of Navy and Air Force sorts of stuff.

Sergeant Hulka: Soldier, I've noticed that you're always last.
John Winger: I'm pacing myself, Sergeant. – Stripes



We checked into Jackass and refilled a bottle and grabbed a sandwich and headed out. I ran into Steve Peterson from CA and we had a nice chat. By this time, Matt and Vince went on ahead. I tried to keep them in sight and pull me along. It was starting to get warmer out and I wasn’t too keen on going real fast right now. I pulled into Coyote Camp aid station right behind Matt and Vince and filled bottles and left immediately, as the bees were starting to get annoying.

Scott and Phil Sharing Butterfly Kisses

Photo by Will Lafollette

Taggart: "LePetomaine Thruway"? Now what'll that asshole think of next?
Taggart: Has anybody got a dime?
Taggart: Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes! -- Blazing Saddles

I left out of there ahead of the guys and made my way along the trail, waiting to get annoyed by the rocky section ahead. The 1.5 miles of rocks really get annoying after 4 loops, but early on they aren’t so bad. Somehow, they didn’t seem to be so bad this year as in the past. Vince and Matt caught up with me as we picked our way around the rocks. Then a nice descent to the sand wash below. Only 1.5 miles to go for the completion of loop 2. Saw Scott coming up the wash towards the rock hill looking good. Both Vince and I commented how well Scott was doing. We were figuring a sub-24 hour finish for him. Crossed the timing mat again, with a loop time of 3:21. I was pretty pleased with this, and I think the lower temps this year was playing a factor in my pace. Again, I leaned over to Dave Combs and yelled “Totally Fuckin’ Awesome!”. I went over to my self-aid station and took care of the usual business. On this loop I wanted to bring along my camera and take the time to snap some shots of the course, something I’ve never done the 6 times prior. It would also force me to slow the pace down a bit as this loop is traditionally the hottest loop of the run. I changed out my hat for my ice hat and ice bandana to cool me off for the hottest part of the day. I filled the hat and bandana with ice, sucked down a couple of Mtn Dews, grabbed a sandwich and headed out with Vince.

Lyle: Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen. -- Blazing Saddles

A Rocky Uphill Climb

Taking in the rocky view

The Fountain of Fountain Hills

Vince and I made our way out and through the sand washes. Along the way I was taking pics of the scenery. We made our way up the steep but short hill to the rock quarry. We jogged some but it was mostly a walk. By this time we saw the fountain of Fountain Hills spurting to our left a few miles distant. I was going to take a photo of it and Vince beckoned me further up the trail to get it between two Saguaro cacti. Got into Coyote Camp and spent minimal time here, as the bees were really bad here.





The ice was really making both Vince and I feel energetic, so we decided to run some of the next bit. Ran the downs and walked the rest were the rules of this loop. Spotted the road ahead signaling about 2 miles to the Jackass aid station. We ran more of this, and soon met up with Bobby Keogh and Paul Grimm’s fiancée Karla. Bobby was running great, even with major knee surgery a few months earlier. He wasn’t sure if he was going to do the whole 100 miler or just 100K. Right now he was moving along just great.

Nattu and Karen

We all rolled into Jackass, took care of business, and left in minimal time. We all were having a great time along here, talking and joking around. Soon Karla, who had just done 93 miles of a 24 hour run the previous weekend took off down the road. It was hot out, but not as hot as previous years. I was amazed at how well I was dealing with the warm temps, having just left frigid Colorado with little heat training in me leading up to the race. In fact, since Heartland 3 weeks prior, it had been rather cool. I decided to sprint ahead a bit on the single-track trail, but soon Vince and Bobby caught up with me. Rolled across the timing mat in 10:14 time, with a loop 3 time of 4:04. This was at least 30 minutes faster than in previous hot years. Saw Dave at the timing computer and yelled out “Unbelievably Totally Fuckin’ Awesome!”.

Hedley Lamarr: Gentlemen, please rest your sphincters. -- Blazing Saddles

I decided I wanted to take a little more time at my drop bag area and just relax a bit. I decided to change shirts, hats, etc.. I also picked up my flashlight from the morning as it will get dark sometime on the next loop. I drank a bottle of Ensure, replenished my electrolytes, made sure I had enough drugs in case of later aches. Bobby was lying down on the concrete and mentioned it felt great. I decided I was going to try for Best Ass again and picked up my joy whistle for the added special effect that goes along with my moon to Jamil, the RD. After spending about 15 minutes here I decided it was time to get going. Vince was already up and taking care of his needs at the aid station tables. I went over and grabbed a slice of pizza. Man that tasted great!

Russell Ziskey: I think you're ready for the Special Olympics... -- Stripes

The hard part being over (the hot part anyway) Vince and I headed out knowing that the heat of the day has passed and it will get more pleasant as we head out for loop 4. It was mainly a walk up the hill and to the road. I looked at my GPS for mile 50, and we hit it in under 11 hours. Pretty good pace so far. It was a mix of running and walking up to Jackass. Got there in good time, ate some pumpkin pie and drank a few cokes. I left there before Vince, but he ended up catching up with me. I tend to walk the 1.5 mile section of road at this point, Vince was running it. So be it. Blake Wood and his daughter Heather caught up with me and I had a nice exchange with Blake as he was walking and eating. Soon he decided he better catch up with Heather who was ahead at this point. It got dark a few miles out from Jackass, and I decided since I was now alone to switch on the mp3 and just zone out for awhile. Again, this being my favorite direction I was running a bit more than before (but not any faster). I rolled in Coyote Camp and caught up with Vince there. Refilled bottles and grabbed some food and left.

Vince was running with Anna from earlier in the day and they passed me on the rocky part. I decided to turn off the flashlight as the moonlight was very bright. I usually don’t rely on the moon light in this section due to the rocks, but I came to the conclusion they had done some trail maintenance along here and the rocks were not an annoyance as in previous years. I mean it was relatively smooth. I looked off to my right and did notice a semblance of the old trail through a very rocky part and realized my theory was true. I did have to switch it back on at the bottom in the washes. I did see Vince and Anna up ahead a ways and decided to see if I could catch up with them. As I crossed the road marking ¾ mile to the end of the loop, I managed to run past them and cross the timing mat in 14:26, for a loop time of 4:12. I was simply amazed at how close I was keeping my lap times together. Again, I leaned to Dave and yelled “Really Fuckin’ Awesome!” I asked him who I needed to notify of my moon, and he said he was one of the judges. Dave gathered up Jamil and I serenaded them all and showed them mine. Since I was the only one to have mooned it was too early to tell if I won. Went over to my drop bag area and grabbed a long sleeve shirt, changed my hat out and exchanged flashlights for my bigger and brighter Gerber light.

Tripper: Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed "some kind of beef." – Meatballs

I went over to the aid tables and grabbed a hot dog, sucked down more cokes and headed out for loop 5. Vince was still hanging around and wanted to take care of some issues before heading out. I was feeling pretty good and was picking up the pace a bit, passing runners along the way. I caught up with Theresa Daus-Weber who was pacing Lorraine Gersitz. I ran the rock section (albeit slowly) and got to Coyote Camp. I spent very little time here as I wanted to take advantage of the moment and keep going until I would eventually start fading. Made my way over to Jackass Junction, again spending little time, and left running down the road. I turned off the flashlight and just went with the moonlight. It was amazing how lit up the landscape was. I did turn it back on once I hit the single-track trail again. Rolled into the pavilion for the completion of loop 5 in a time of 18:55, loop time of 4:19! Again, I was amazed at how close I was keeping the times between loops. Again I leaned over to Dave and yelled “Fuckin’ Awesome!”. Headed over to my aid area and refilled. Vince rolled in just after I did. Paul Grimm was there and offered to pace Vince the rest of the race since Karla decided to drop after 4 loops.

Carr: Any man playing grabass or fightin' in the building spends a night in the box. – Cool Hand Luke

I was spending a bit of time here, more than I wanted, but I wanted to eat before heading out. Vince and Paul already were heading out. I decided it was time to leave as well, and I tried to keep them in sight up ahead. I did manage to catch up to them about halfway up the climb, and passed them in the process. I wanted to keep the momentum going while I can and did a lot of jogging and walking up the road leading up to Jackass. Got here and ate some food and had my bottle refilled and left in short order.

I knew I was going to now finish the race this year so I decided to just have some fun and ease back a bit as I was starting to fade some. I got to Coyote and ate a little, but decided to get a’ going as I wanted to make some time. I did manage to jog a bit through the rocky section but it was mostly a walk now. I rolled into the pavilion with a time of 23:35, loop time of 4:40. Yep, I’ve slowed down some but was still happy with my progress. I was trying to figure out what my finish time might be, and figured 26 hours was probably not going to happen, but 27 hours was very doable. I went over to the drop bag area and grabbed a few things, and Jamil came over to give my glow in the dark necklace indicating I only had a half loop to do.

Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk.
Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do. – The Princess Bride

I decided to take a short break before heading out one last time. I figured at least 3 hours and that would get me in just under 27 hours, so I thought a short break might do me some good. I finally got up and left and headed back out on the final leg.

I saw Vince and Paul coming in as I was heading out. About a mile and a half out I decided I didn’t need the flashlight any longer, and enjoyed the sunrise. I realized then that I forgot to bring my sunglasses along, and hoped it wouldn’t be an issue heading down the Tonto Tank trail with the sun potentially in my eyes.



I was pretty much power walking at this point, so I made the most of it. I got to Coyote Camp in 90 minutes. Since I didn’t need anything I quickly checked in and out, this time heading back the way I came and made a sharp left turn to take me down the 2.5 mile descent on the Tonto Tank trail to the last mile in at the bottom. Not long after I was passed by Matt and his wife. I have never been able to run this section down and this year was no exception. I took solace in that it isn’t very long to the bottom. I got down to the bottom and made a left turn on the trail meaning only 1 mile to go.

I tried to run some, but mostly it was a walk. Once I got within eyesight of the main road did I muster up enough energy to run (jog, slog, crawl) it in. I crossed the timing mat for the 7th and final time, with a finish time of 26:27:18, loop time of 2:52. One of my better times for the final lap. I told Dave it was fucking awesome to be here, got my belt buckle and headed over to my drop area to sit down.

Dewey Oxburger: Sergeant, does this mean we're through for the day? -- Stripes

I didn’t win the mooning, as some guy came in with a thong and won. How could I beat that? Whatever. Scott walked over and congratulated me on my finish. He finished in 23:19. He ended up with a bigger buckle that said “under 24 hours”, something new to the race this year.

I was sitting there finding some food to eat when Vince and Paul came in, in 26:39. I congratulated Vince on our 6th finish there. This means that Vince, myself and Dan Brendan are the only ones to finish 6 here. As Vince said later, we were fucked and will have to come back to keep the streak for 10 alive.

Photo by Will Lafollette

For now, I was content to stroll over to the car and have a brew. Will Lafollette came over and we offered him a brew. After that, we headed over to the showers to clean up before coming back to the finish line to watch some runners come in before heading out for the airport.

Yep, I’ll be back. I gotta keep it alive now. I’m screwed.